The most creative person I’ve ever known. Hmmmm. Let me think. At the risk of sounding egotistical, the most creative person I’ve ever known is me. Let me be more precise, however, and the egotism may vanish into thin air. The most creative person I’ve ever known was the me that used to exist. I used to feel as though ideas and projects would flow from my mind. In a way, I think I’ve now gotten to the point where I am too rigid, not spontaneous enough. I need to find the creative person I once knew. I need to find the child living inside of me.
The child lives under layers. I have the layers of stress that come from striving to provide for a family and work for an organization. I have layers of disillusionment that have come from seeing the way people treat others in the dog-eat-dog world of today. I must break through layers of hard crusty shell in order to reach me; in order to find me.
I was creative because I didn’t let others dictate how I should feel about certain events in my life. I was creative because I would ignore life and let the inner child come to the surface. I was able to dream big and truly believe my dreams had a great chance of being realized.
I would play football in the backyard by myself. I would envision the other players on the field. I would, quite literally, become the quarterback and receiver on the same play. It was always difficult. I always needed a last second come from behind win. Sometimes the clock would tick down to zero, I would be back to make a pass. As the ball left my hand, I knew it was good. Perfect spirals were my goal, and I rarely missed the mark. The pass would sail through the air and into my own waiting hands only to drop to the backyard grass. I would stand up defeated, until I noticed the yellow flag on the ground. Defensive pass interference or roughing the passer would help me survive just one more play; the play that would define my career as the best player ever in the NFL.
While in the swimming pool, I would quickly become a whale at a Sea World show. I could jump and dart just like a dolphin. Heck, I was a dolphin. Nothing could touch me. I was incredible.
My imagination could go off at any moment creating stories of heroism and amazing feats. I would laugh, cry, love, hate, and enjoy life with the passion that only a believer can muster.
What has happened to me? Why am I no longer happy with life the way it is at this present moment? Why am I afraid of looking foolish to others? Why do I not let myself dream the unbelievable? I must change, and I must change now. I must find my inner self once again. Hurry, before that part of me dies.
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